Terrible Tongues

If a woodchuck could chuck wood
He would and should chuck wood
But if woodchucks can't chuck wood
They wouldn't and shouldn't chuck wood
Though were I a woodchuck who chucked wood
I would chuck wood with woodchucks that chucked wood!

She sells seashell on the seashore
The shells that she sells are seashells I'm sure
If she sells seashells on the seashore
The seashells she sells should be from shellfish of the sea floor!

A Tudor who tooted a flute
tried to tutor two tooter to toot
Said the two to the Tudor
Is it harder to toot,
of to tutor two tooters to toot?

I am not a pheasant plucker
I'm just a pheasant plucker's mate
I am only plucking pheasants
'cause the pheasant plucker's running late!

Slow Dance

Have you ever watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Do you run through each day

On the fly?

When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done

Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through your head?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call and say,"Hi"

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift....

Thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

(Anon)

Fat vs Thin - Just For Laughs!

klown : u so thin you make thin ppl look fat

klown : u so thin ppl mistake u for toothpick mascot

Dumbass of the year : you so fat, you make thin people look like toothpicks

klown : u so thin you ppl don't know if u standing facing them or sideways when u talk to them

klown : u so thin that when u fall off a boat, the boatman throws you a dough nut for a life preserver

Dumbass of the year : you so fat that when you fall off the boat, the sea goes empty

klown : you so thin u eat a single Jacob's cracker for a square meal

Dumbass of the year : you so fat you take up 99% of the world food supply

klown : you so thin u ate a peanut and thought u were pregnant

Dumbass of the year :you so fat, you eat all the planets in the entire solar system and still go hungry

klown : you so thin that you have to jump around in the shower to get wet

Dumbass of the year : you so fat that you have to shower in the rain since you cannot fit in the shower

klown : you so thin you can do a U-turn in a straw!

Dumbass of the year : you so fat, you cry at a u turn

klown : you so thin u wear lead boots to stop breeze from blowing u away

Dumbass of the year : you so fat that you can stop a hurricane from destroying a country

klown : you so thin that Ethiopians look at you and say DAMN!

Dumbass of the year : you so fat that the Ethiopians mistaken you for their land

klown : you so thin that your momma mistook you for a needle and tried to thread u

klown : u so thin that your momma just sneezed you out

Dumbass of the year : you so fat that your center of gravity attracts all metal objects

klown : u so thin that you make Cartman look like a planet

Dumbass of the year : you so fat that you caused global warming by bring the sun closer to earth

Dumbass of the year : you so fat that you can win the war against terrorism just by farting

klown : u so thin that at any accident scene, the paramedics give u attention

klown : u so thin that u make ur hair look fat

Dumbass of the year : you so fat you walk out an accident due to fatness

klown : u so thin that an Ewok uses u for a spear

Dumbass of the year :you so fat you make you hair microscopic

Dumbass of the year : you so fat you swallow the death star

klown : u so thin that McDonald ask u to mascot for their fries

klown : ur motto is "eat me so u won't look like me"

Dumbass of the year : you so fat that you rent out lots for McDonald outlets, your motto is "fatten all American for jihad sake"

klown : u so thin that UNICEF included ur name in their starvation watch list

Dumbass of the year : you so fat that your finger alone can feed the African nation for a century

klown : u so thin u type thin IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Dumbass of the year : you so fat you hit all keys with one finger

klown : u so thin, the cigarette smokes u

Dumbass of the year : you so fat you use nuclear silo to smoke

klown : u so thin that u fit in with a bunch of angel hair spaghetti

Dumbass of the year : you so fat, you absorb any asteroid better then Jupiter

Dumbass of the year : will this ever end

Dumbass of the year = Guess Who?!
Well now at least it ended.
Have a Great Day.

Dennis was a Poet

"The Boulder"

There it lays on the ground,

various life forms all around,

motionlessly sitting at this spot for centuries,

supporting life forms is all that it gives, I believe,

Insects and animals seek refuge under it,

while various plants thrive on it,

holes and cracks are found all over it,

yet the beauty of life can be found in it,

the boulder that is full of life,

solidly sits here and gives it's support,

it asks for nothing in return,

all it wants is a place on this earth.

Just in Case :P

"The Immortal Butterfly"

Awaken from its slumber comes a butterfly,
Broke out from it's cocoon ready to fly,
Yet it fluttered it's wings only to die,
Along came a little girl who saw the butterfly,
She says to the butterfly "Please don't die."
The dying butterfly smiles and replies,
Don't be sad my dear child,
For I am already flying in your mind,
As long as you remember me,
I'll continue to fly...

Dennis Teh

The Rat Race...

长江后浪推前浪
前浪死在沙滩上
后浪还在推前浪
早晚死在沙滩上!

Touch of "Romance"

I asked Dennis:
'I like poems, Can you make one for me?'

To which he said 'Yes'

And so I waited patiently

Thinking romance was ahead of me...

He came up with this!

"床前明月光
Dennis 脱光光
跑进厕所里
让Audrey来非礼!"